


That one January night

by brokensoul_brokenlife



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Depression, Hogwarts, Hogwarts Eighth Year, Loneliness, Lonely Draco Malfoy, M/M, Suicide, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:20:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21718327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brokensoul_brokenlife/pseuds/brokensoul_brokenlife
Summary: Draco has been alone for a long time. What does this lead to
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Comments: 1
Kudos: 68





	That one January night

That one January night

It was a dark January night. Draco was sitting on the edge of the astronomy tower. He looked out over the grounds of Hogwarts, thinking if he ever before saw the squid. Picturing himself walking to the black lake taking a dive and seeing the squid. Being grabbed by him and getting pulled to the great lakes bodem. To be left there and slowly letting the air escape from his lungs, watching as the air bubbles rise to the surface. Draco shakes his head as he comes out of his thoughts. He looks back to the lake, there must be other ways to kill himself right. To vanish in thing air. I mean nobody would miss him after all right. Somewhere a clock struck midnight and Draco stood up to go back to the dorms. He didn’t notice the feets sticking out under a to short invisibility cloak. 

The next morning Draco went straight to class. He had long stopped going to the great hall. He used to love the attention and stares. He didn’t anymore nor did he like food for that matter. He couldn’t even remember when the last time he eat, he mostly didn’t care what people thought about him though. He knows he messed up he knows he was on the wrong side. He just chose to ignore it. As he sat in the back of the class staring at the front he slowly starting to doze off, having had little to no sleep the night before. As he woke up, he noticed that class was over and that he slept through it all. He didn’t care, he would be gone soon anyway. 

That night Draco walked to the black lake. He stared at the water, seeing his reflection. He saw a tired, thin and pale boy. He had always been slender, but never like this. He jumped in the water and screamed when the ice-cold water hit his skin. Making the water flow into his lungs. He opened his eyes and looked at himself. He was slowly sinking, feeling finally at peace. His arms where a calming white and he felt his eyes falling close. He didn’t notice the body jumping in after him. The next time he opened his eyes he was laying in the infirmary on a hard mattress and under a stiff blanket. He got a strange look from Madame Pomfrey and walked back to his dorm. He didn’t dwell on how he got back.  
The next day he got stared at a lot. He didn’t really notice it. He didn’t really notice anything anymore. He felt so numb all the time. However, he did notice one person that was staring at him a load more then the others where. Harry bloody Potter. He felt a bit of a nostalgia feeling, thinking about the rules he was breaking, a small smile was forming on his lips, the rules that he broke while trying to kill himself, the small smile fell. 

Harry Potter wasn’t staring at Draco he was merely looking at and observing him. Every time he felt that those set of emerald green eyes on him, he felt something in him he never had before. Like a flicker of something, Love crossed his mind and went. It couldn’t be. So, he walked down the halls looking down ignoring everything and everyone. He went back to the shallow boy he was. No one noticed he got sad. Why would they care about him anyway, the only way he got seen when he was hexed again. When they cornered him and punched him and even fucking put him under the cruciates curse. But he deserved it right. It was all his own doing. He joined the wrong side, he was the one who attacked people. Now its only fair he got it back, he had to. It was all decided when he got the burn mark on his left arm. Marking his side and his future. He was under pressure, his parents would’ve died. But they don’t care about his parents. His parents where his downfall they said.   
When a few days after his mother passed, everyone looked at him again. Not with sorrow not with regret, but with smirk. It was as if they were happy his beloved mother was dead, died of a broken heart knowing her husband, who had made mistakes but who she loved either way. Would die in a place where she would never see him again. She killed herself, slit her wrists. Draco didn’t even cry. Knowing he would be with her, soon. 

He could feel it, there was still a little love in him. It was reserved for the one he couldn’t have, wouldn’t have. He tried to forget him, but how can one forget about the savior of the wizarding world.   
After a few weeks, Draco found himself back at the astronomy tower. Leaning over the edge, looking down. He heard shuffling behind him and turned around. There he saw Harry sodding Potter. “What are you doing here?” Draco asked with a monotone voice, not allowing himself to show any form of surprise. “I guess I’m here to save your life again.” Harry said looking straight in Draco’s eyes “but to be honest I’m getting a bit tired of it.” “then stop!” Draco fired back. He turned around again and looked down onto to the place where Dumbledore fell. “don’t act like you care or something we both know you don’t. It would be a total waste of time, no one would even notice if I where to be gone and if they would, they would let go a sigh of relieve.”

When Draco feels a hand around his waist, he turns around. His lips almost brushing Harry’s. Harry looks him straight in the eyes and kisses him. Draco kisses him back without a second thought. It feels like the kiss goes on for about a lifetime, but it is only about a minute or two. When Draco pulls back, he gives Harry a small lingering peck on the lips and walks back. “but Draco why would you do this now you’ve got so much more to live for, fuck please don’t do this” tears start forming in Harry’s eyes “please Draco, I-I love you!!” harry says. When Draco looks Harry in the eyes he stares for a full minute before he starts to speak. “my mother has just passed” Harry tries to interrupt him but, Draco shakes his head. “and my father is in Azkaban, where he no doubt will spend his last minutes, the Malfoy name doesn’t even exist anymore. And Harry please understand, I love you to but, it’s just too much, I feel so empty all the time. Like I am numb against every situation. Nothing can hit me in my heart again, except this little string of love” Harry looks up hopefully “but I am just to weak to sustain it” Harry lets tears slide down his cheek “Don’t cry over me Harry please, I am not worth it. Don’t you see I would ruin you, you and your whole family. I’m sorry but I just can’t ruin someone I love.” As Draco steps back Harry steps forward. They look each other straight in the eyes. As Draco falls of the edge, he mouths sorry and that is that.

When Harry hears a thud, he slides to the ground, a tear sliding down his cheeks. He didn’t move, he could hear when they found him. Not even shocked just calling the aurors and leaving the body. 

Harry jumped after him.

**Author's Note:**

> I just want to clarify that I don't make financial stuff out of this. all these characters belong to J.K.Rowling.   
> please leave me a reaction on this story what I could better about it, Thank you! :*


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